At work I'm a green roof build apprentice. I've been working green collar jobs for a while now, usually with scrappier employers, but capitalistic forces have always blown my employers off course. It's inexorable. 500 characters is not enough to get into it. I didn't even mean to get into it, but I took this shot from a roof deck we were building and it made me think about how sad my work makes me, has always made me... but the views are nice.

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I see the skyline differently now than I used to. From roofs I look out across other sites, all of them with people working to build things that will never benefit them outside of the paycheck they'll receive. In many ways it feels like those paychecks are the only reason we keep developing. We don't need any more of these buildings... many of them will be flooded in a few short decades. But we need to work.

Sedum extensives should be our bread and butter. Our bread and butter are pavers, though. That's how they get you.They won't hire your bicycle delivery service unless you also deliver to the suburbs,and suddenly you deliver with vans. They won't hire your green roof company unless you also build their patios... and then suddenly you're a paver company.

None of us should be out here, risking our lungs, our families, our friends, our lives... but fear spurs us on. Fear of poverty outweighs the fear of the virus, and fear of what we would even do with ourselves outweighs the fear of the oncoming climate apocalypse. So we take half measures. We trick ourselves into thinking we can fix things within the system, and all we do is continue to feed it. I live in a constant state of fear.

I don't know what the answer is. I know I'll keep going to work, because the wolf is always at the door. I hope I'll get to help build the urban farms I've always wanted, but I know if I do they'll be far outweighed by the all the waste and pollution I've generated in the construction projects I've participated in to help keep the lights on so someday we can build that farm... But I hope that if enough of us stop and talk about this treadmill, maybe collectively we can get off.

I guess you can consider the thread my first post. It really hits at what I want out of a social network anyway. I want to talk about what needs to be fixed instead of just peering into the best parts of everyone else's lives. I know it seems bleak, but in my heart it's pure optimism. If we can get people talking about what's broken we can begin seriously talking about how to fix it. I hope we still can. I need to believe we still can. Thanks for reading through.

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