In the word "queue", only the first letter is pronounced. The other four are silent (quietly waiting their turn).

From https://cheezburger.com/10771717/quality-puns-were-not-sure-if-we-even-like
#pun #joke #dadjoke #humor

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.

Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

My exercise and food app says that I have burned off 666 calories with my morning walk.

I probably now need an "exorcise app", #amiright?

#NameANewDisease
#HashTagGames
Groan's Disease.
When your dad tells a #DadJoke and you make an involuntary groaning noise.

I want a background character in a movie scene. He is a T-Rex named Ron and he owns a jewelry shop where he crafts beautiful jewelry of all types. But because of the short T-Rex arms, he makes crowns and arm bands and such. One day he gets a commission from a lemur with fingers who wants a "ring."

Thus he makes Dinosaur Ron's One Ring.

Without geometry life is pointless. #dadjoke

If I were to get a small dog, it would be one of those "Sausage Dogs". It'd be Female, and I'd name it "Jadzia Dachshund" #StarTrek #DadJoke

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car when they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 70km/h in a 50km/h zone." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
#physics #dadjoke

#FlachwitzFreitag

Manchmal bereue ich meine Vasektomie, denn ich kenne so viele Dadjokes, die ich gerne erzählen würde

Surely a suitable response to

"Hi!"

is

"Hellow"

I was at the library and asked if they have any books on "paranoia", the librarian replied, "yes, they are right behind you"